It was Wednesday night, August 11th. It was exactly the beginning of my fourth week home in Rising Sun, MD. I had been home meeting with people to tell them I would now be working on staff with YWAM Madison in the Grounds and Maintenance department. In this time of meeting, I would talk with them, see how they are doing, answer (to the best of my ability) any question they would have about me or YWAM. And during this time, I would ask if they would be willing to pray about supporting me, and also to just pray for me.
In the beginning of the trip home, things were going good. I went to my old work place in North East, MD called Sandy Cove. It is a conference and retreat center that is ran year-round with all Christian and Church groups, couples retreat, even Bed-and-Breakfast services! I had worked there for about two and a half years. I spent the majority of the time in the kitchen, and a small percentage of time in the housekeeping department.
As I went to Sandy Cove, I saw several people that I knew and worked with, and also people who had known me. About 4 different people came up to me and asked how I was doing, and what I was doing. I had a chance to tell them, at their approach, that I was now on staff with YWAM. I had told them that I had made a two year commitment, and that I am also asking people to pray about supporting me. As a result, they told me they would like to support me and help out anyway they could. One lady said she felt like the Lord had been speaking to her about this for a long time, and another said she wanted to because she knew what it was like going to raise support working in ministry. From this visit, I have two new supporters, and two more praying about it and talking it over with their spouse.
After this I begun to make phone calls. Some said they would not be able to, some I could not get a hold of, and some I never heard back from. However, this momentum began to fade. Little by little, I lost focus of this trip without keeping a structured schedule. Little by little, the trip became less about the fund-raising.
I then started encountering different issues and things I needed to walk through with God. I encountered different emotional things that were triggered from past hurts. From this came time to fight again for purity in my life, and even to know why it is important to love and trust others, making myself vulnerable. There were several things God started to do work in with my life. Things that I feel were a distraction to my time home, things that God had never intended for this time home. Things that should not have become an issue, but to have been defeated and already have peace gained in. However, for about a week and a half, I struggled, I faced depression, I faced isolation, and I faced having to want to fight and to open myself up to my prayer support and my emotional support.
After coming out of the “funk” and having God do these works, I came to see that this trip was not a loss, and was not going to be defeated. This trip might have been hurt, hindered, and not at its fullest of fruits; however, it has started a process to mature me. A process I made into speed-bump and a hiccup even in my growth and my development Spiritually. A process started over a year ago.
It was on Wednesday night that I saw this. I was at a house church meeting in Baltimore, MD. While there, we had a sharing on relationships, and the importance of laying down of being right to preserve love in a friendship. To hold the other person as more valuable than selfish pride. During the discussion, I had a revelation of how the love of God clothes the Christian and the believer. And we are washed clean by the blood of Christ through faith in Him. His love covers us and clothes us. God did ministering to me through the Spirit, and I was also heart-broken at the loss friendships and relationships I have because of arguments, opinions, selfishness, pride, or just not being wise. Either on my part or the other’s person’s part, these things are not worth the loss of someone in your life or my life.
At the conclusion, a man asked me what I was doing and we started to get to know each other. After I told him I was in YWAM and have done training schools with them, he greatly encouraged me. He knew YWAM and its ministry in healing and deliverance. He knew of it’s history in Baltimore, MD. After I said I would be on staff, he asked me for the information to send support. He then hugged me, told me he would be praying for me, and told me to stay encouraged. I stood stunned, in tears, after he walked away. In the kitchen, with only one other person there, I was so touched and moved and saw redemption in this trip and final week home.
Since I’ve been home, I have doubled my monthly support, and am a little more than half-way to being at the support amount required to be on staff. There are three people I have currently lined up to meet with before I leave, two to touch base with, and another two to contact and set something up with. This trip isn’t over, and I am hoping and praying that God will move and do something.
What have I learned? Satan goes to steal, kill, and destroy. He is crafty and wise in his motivations and movements, but yet his strategy never changes. He goes to distort our image of ourselves and of God. He goes to isolate, and goes to give a false reality about how man should live. A false perception of freedom and rights to take away from the value and worth of a person’s life. We need to fight for the way God made us, and to walk in His purposes and plans for us. This is what will bring true happiness, true joy, and productivity into out lives. This will bring wealth to our lives, and fulfillment on all level of life (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual).
Until my next blogging, God bless!
In Jesus the Christ
Arlin J. Philbin
- Joshua 1:9
